About M (The Amanda interview)

I responded to this post by the worldly Amanda yesterday. So here I am, with five questions asked by the enigmatic Sandgroper, answered for you. If you want me to ask you five questions, leave me a comment!


1. The first time I read your blog, you were confessing your love of The Audreys, which I share. I think you mentioned that this was not the usual type of music you'd listen to- is there anything else you love that we might find surprising?

Ha ha! I'm not sure it was a confession so much but rather an expression of... well... infatuation over Taasha Coates! I figure your question is not necessarily about music? I'm not sure if this is terribly surprising, but it sure is something I love. And it's very specific. I love cooking Christmas Eve dinner for my family and friends. It has always been a tradition for my father's family that Christmas is celebrated on Christmas Eve. As kids, we'd always have a Christmas with each set of Grandparents. Now, in my family, I cook on Christmas Eve and invite all the local family and our close friends around. It has become something that our friends really enjoy and have come to incorporate into their Christmas routine. I cook the same food that my Grandmother would - veal schnitzel, fried red cabbage (like sauerkraut), and vegetables. But I've added my own variant by adding a home-made chilli-tomato sauce. I buy an entire veal topside, cut thin as paper, and crumb it in cornflake crumbs. I love how it takes me all day to get the kitchen organised, cook all the meat and sauce, then have everyone arrive eager to see how much they can stuff into their stomachs! Then we all sit around and talk, drink, and enjoy each others company. And then we usually walk around the streets looking at the Christmas lights. The perfect way to start Christmas! Apologies to anyone reading whose mouth is watering right now....


2. You recently wrote about how proud (or at least pleased) you were that your children inherited some of your deformities- what other achievements by your children are you proud of?

Well, there are four of them, so I'll think of something for each of them. They are all quite still young, so "achievement" is an awkward word to draw upon, but we'll see how it goes.

LittleM1. Well, this was something that happened at school. She is not the most socially adept child. Not totally shy and withdrawn, but social skills are something that we really have to work on. Anyhow, at school one day, LittleM1's class were asked to each write down on a piece of paper, who their "friend of the week" was, and why. Then, one by one, they each had to read out what they had written down. Well! Over half the class wrote down LittleM1! They all said "she's nice to me" and "for sharing" and "playing nicely". And this was the first "friend of the week" that the class had done. Shock and pride were my simultaneous emotions. It happened to be parent-teacher interviews that week. We discussed this at length! Even the teachers were blown away by what had happened. As an aside, the teachers said that LittleM1 smiles all the time and now that they've met me, they know where that smile comes from. Aww shucks!

LittleM2 has challenges. He's neurologically atypical - that's all I'll say. Simple things that we'd take for granted with the others are difficult with LittleM2. We have to teach him everything. Except how to escape - that ability is self taught. Anyhow, I don't know if it's pride, but it's something. LittleM2 is just lovable. His smile, his pleasant nature, the joy he finds in his world. You just want to cuddle him. I guess I'm proud of the way he is, even given the way he is.

LittleM3 is a cheeky monkey. I love her spirit, her individuality, her forthright nature. I love that she is such a unique individual. I'm proud of her for giving anything a go. She's never scared of anything (except bugs and bad dreams).

LittleM4 is the youngest of the clan and is only two. You'd think that being so young and with three older siblings, he'd be run over. Nope. He stands up for himself and usually gets his own way with them. And with us. I'm proud of him for that. Oh, and we love his smile too.

What is it about smiles? On reflection, we do tend to get a lot of people comment to us on our kids smiles. Maybe it's because they get tickles so often, their smile muscles get a good workout!


3. You recently started a photography blog. Is your interest in photography a recent development, or a long-standing one, and what are your favourite subjects to capture on film?

I've always been interested in photography. I've never done any courses or anything like that, but I like to snap away and hope for a "magic" shot. You know, the one that's out of focus but captures the emotion? That's the point too - for me, it's all about the emotion of the moment, not the replication of the event.

Most certainly my favourite subjects to capture are people. One of my favourite photos of my wife was one I snapped as she was laughing and looking at me, that instant before the "don't take a photo of me" look. It's very out of focus and was taken with an old compact film camera - but the emotion of the moment was priceless. Her blue eyes sparkle and show pure joy. She took a photo of LittleM1 and LittleM4 once - they were just sitting together against a wall and both their eyes just gleamed.

Now you've got me thinking though Amanda. Why the interest in photography? I think I'm a voyeur! I like to watch!


4. Not too long ago, you blogged a letter to your father. What would you hope a similar letter from one of your own children would say in 30 years time?

Oooooh. A toughie, but a goody. I'll quote Pulp Fiction;

The Wolf: You see that, young lady? Respect. Respect for one's elders gives character.
Raquel: I have character.
The Wolf: Just because you are a character doesn't mean that you have character.

So that's my answer. I'd like to think that my children will respect me (for who I am, not what I've done), and that they will see me as someone who has character.


5. You met your wife drunk on Midore one night. If you were to go back and change anything about that night, what would it be? Or perhaps it all worked out so well in the end that you wouldn't change anything?

I'll often look back at certain events in my life and say "I wonder what would have happened if..." or "I wonder how things might have turned out if only...". I've wondered what would have happened if I'd not taken "the job" out of school and studied architecture like I'd always wanted. Or if I hadn't behaved badly and instead I'd treated that girl with a bit more respect.

But that drunken NYE is not one of those events. All good came from it. From our first date, there seemed to be something there. I still to this day can't (for the life of me) describe what "it" is, and I don't think I realised it at the time. But it was there. That night, when we met, I didn't feel an overwhelming feeling of "oh my god she's the one". I wasn't particularly confident (given the alcohol) or anything else like that. One thing that was unique I suppose was that as one date was followed by another and another, the progression appeared and felt natural. It never seemed to me that it wasn't going to happen. I felt it did not need to be said, since it was obvious to me.

So I wouldn't change that night. I wouldn't even swap the Midori for something cool. The fact it was Midori makes it a cool story, don't you reckon?



If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment including the words "Interview me." I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don't have a valid email address on your blog, please provide one. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.