Language

Why the heck do we have words that mean more than one thing? I mean, if you want to describe something "new" pick a new word! Don't just pick a word that's already being used to describe something completely different and say "well, it means this now too." Here are some that are particularly interesting....

Culture:
1. Patterns of human activity and the symbolic structures that give such activity significance.
2. The growing of microorganisms in a nutrient medium.

Solution: Oh hang on - they're actually the same.... No solution required.

Deck:
1. A pack of cards
2. A raised wooden platform adjoining a house
3. To punch someone and they fall down

Solution: Call the cards a Dec, and the punch a Dek. Done.

Dock:
1. Water next to a pier
2. What I'll do to your pay if you're late!

Solution: Call the pay deduction a "Dohk", named after the famous industrialist Edward Dohk.

Draw:
1. Like with a pencil and paper
2. Equal scores
3. What you do with your weapons

Solution: When the scores are the same, call it a Drawtie. That covers off when it's a tie too. Ban guns, that'll fix that.

Fall:
1. To be one with gravity
2. What the yanks call Autumn.

Solution: Call it Autumn already!

Period:
1. A punctuation at the end of a sentence. i.e. a full stop.
2. Something that causes madness once a month in half of the petre dish's microorganisms.

Solution: Call it a full stop. I do. What's wrong with you?

Pontoon:
1. A buoyancy device
2. Blackjack

Solution: Call it Blackjack. Der.

Root:
1. What Wombats eat with leaves.
2. What Aussie blokes do before they leave.
3. What Yanks do at a sporting event.

Solution: Leave the trees alone, use fuck and cheer.

Shower:
1. How we keep clean
2. What chicks do when other chicks have babies.

Solution: Call the baby shower what it is, an excuse for a girly party.

Strike:
1. Swinging and missing a baseball
2. Hitting any other type of ball
3. Industrial action.

Solution: If you miss the baseball, you have not struck it, so it cannot be a strike! C'mon, what's the matter here! Call it a miss already! As for the industrial action, just call it a Mass-Dohk.

Get this....
Trapezium:
1. a quadrilateral with one pair of parallel sides (English definition)
2. a quadrilateral with no parallel sides (Yank definition)
Trapezoid:
1. a quadrilateral with one pair of parallel sides (Yank definition)
2. a quadrilateral with no parallel sides (English definition)

Solution: Have a meeting, decide once and for all and send us all a memo.

QED.
What's next?