Grip

I went to my doctor today. Don't panic! I'm not sick!

Just some things I wanted checked out, and it required some examination of my hands and the reflexes in my fingers. At the end, she says "squeeze my fingers" and points per index and middle fingers out to me.

OK, you asked for it.....

"Ok, Ok, Ok, that's enough! Nothing wrong there!" she states, perhaps surprised. You see, I'd said that I'd been feeling a little "weak" in my hands lately.

She said I have the strongest grip of anyone she'd ever examined. I hope I didn't break her finger.

I'd always thought I'd had a strong grip. You know those little machines they use during fitness tests where you squeeze them to test your strength? I'd always rate "very high". Not that I'm all buff or anything. In fact, my forearms are quite lean.

Speaking of grip however, I think I have a pretty strong grip in other ways too.....

- Grip on the earth. I wear a size 12-13 (depends on the make). "You've got a good grip on the earth there son!"

- Grip on reality. I think I understand most things pretty well. No, I sell myself short. I think I understand everything very well. FIGJAM.

- In the Grip. I go there a bit.

But no, I've never been to Grip, nor have I ever worked as a Grip. My sister always tells me to get a grip, but I tell her to fulabuck-olaboff. :-)

I don't facking heart u

If I read "I heart you" one more fucking time, I'm going to go mental.

I think if I actually heard someone say it, in person, I'd stab them in the heart.
With a really sharp stick.
Dipped in poison.
Twenty eight times.
Then push them in front of a bus.
A really big one.
Driven by Sandra Bullock.


So there.

In Radiohead we trust

Grumble....

Daylight saving. Lost one hour sleep.
The kids don't know any better. What they do know is they can't watch Bindi this morning since it's already been on. My explanation did not help one bit.

So what else can we watch.
Flick. No.
Flick. Not that either.
Flick. ABC2. Music?
I know, the other music with the bar at the bottom.
You mean from this (my Zen)?
Yes!

fyi, I plus in my Zen to the TV which is hooked up to the home theatre.

How about this? Radiohead!

Inexplicably, all the kids start to dance when this comes on....



Radiohead over The Wiggles and BoohBah? There is hope. Real hope!

Mood of the Day

Most often it's a song or an expletive that best describes my mood. Today it's, of all things, a poem. Enjoy.

The Sun Rising

Busy old fool, unruly Sun,
Why dost thou thus,
Through windows, and through curtains, call on us?
Must to thy motions lovers' seasons run?
Saucy pedantic wretch, go chide
Late schoolboys, and sour prentices,
Go tell court-huntsmen that the king will ride,
Call country ants to harvest offices,
Love, all alike, no season knows, nor clime,
Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time.

Thy beams, so reverend and strong
Why shouldst thou think?
I could eclipse and cloud them with a wink,
But that I would not lose her sight so long:
If her eyes have not blinded thine,
Look, and tomorrow late, tell me
Whether both th' Indias of spice and mine
Be where thou leftst them, or lie here with me.
Ask for those kings whom thou saw'st yesterday,
And thou shalt hear: "All here in one bed lay."

She is all states, and all princes I,
Nothing else is.
Princes do but play us; compar'd to this,
All honour's mimic, all wealth alchemy.
Thou, sun, art half as happy 's we,
In that the world's contracted thus;
Thine age asks ease, and since thy duties be
To warm the world, that's done in warming us.
Shine here to us, and thou art everywhere;
This bed thy centre is, these walls, thy sphere.

---- John Donne

I love my ADSL2

New Old Favourite

Do you ever hear an old song for the first time in a long while, and fall in love with it all over again? I was listening to INXS on my Zen yesterday, and "To look at you" came on.

Lovin' it.


What is the name to call
For a different kind of girl
Who knows the feelings
But never the words

To look at you
And never speak
Is so good
For me tonite

Who do you ask when there's no one
Left to turn to
You ask me and I'll
always try to hear
Past money and colours
and make believe
Good cheap values for
a thrifty clown

To Look at You
And never speak
Is so good
For me tonite

What do you fear in the simple
Still of a summer's nite
I understand I
sympathize for a daydream
Fairytales and I love you

What is the name to call
For a different kind of girl
Who knows the feeling's
But never the words

To this ... real life documentary


Shabooh Shoobah really was the best INXS album wasn't it?

New toy

I have another new toy to play with. Somehow, something K wanted was also something I wanted. How rare is that? Pretty rare. No bribery and corruption required, just "let's buy it then. OK." So we did. And not the you beaut variety, but excellent value. Good onya Ted's.

To celebrate, and in anticipation of things to come, I've created a brand-new, dedicated photo-blog-journal. It's for all I cap·ture (kăp'chər) and want to share.

Salt & Vinegar

Aldi Salt & Vinegar Chips are so strong that they "burned" my mouth. The skin on the inside of my mouth, around my lips, has been peeling off for the past two days.

Unless you've got asbestos lined gums, keep well clear.

A free consumer tip from M.

My boy

I am a mutant. But aren't we all. My deformities are very specific and unique. But aren't yours too?

Firstly, the second toe on my right foot is wickedly bent. Just that one toe. It works fine, for walking and for fishing.

Secondly, my right ear is higher than the left and sticks out more. It reminds me every morning when I look in the mirror. I look at myself, and my ear says "Good morning freak!"

Thirdly, my thumbs are double jointed. Not my fingers, just the thumbs. They can bend backwards nearly 90 degrees. Good for massages actually, we all like this deformity.

Fourthly, my right arm is 2cm longer than my left. Good for nothing at all. Except reaching things a bit higher.

Fifthly, My canine teeth are really like a canine. All pointy and shit. Like a vampire! No! I am a vampire! I've come to suuuck your blooood!

Lastly, most bizarrely, and yet most cool, I have extra cartilage or something growing on my bottom left rib. It pokes out like I'm growing an alien love child (shhhh!). But why is this cool?

My son has the same thing. Awesome.

The debate?

Or was it a popularity contest? I agree that John Howard has all the charisma of a John Howard, but I can't believe that people think Rudd has much more.

I started off with the decision: to worm or not to worm. As it turns out, I should have taken my Combantrin and watched the ABC. The 60 minutes audience were voting before anything was said. Literally. It simply made the worm irrelevant, except for the relative difference between what each leader had to say about any particular topic, or who seemed to be more credible about one topic or another. I must say that I did laugh a couple of times. Once, in a slip of the most Freudian kind, Rudd almost said "Mr Coward" instead of "Mr Howard" until he caught himself.

I'll divide this post into two parts, the synopsis, and the blow by blow commentary.

SYNOPSIS

Rudd wins when they talk about:
- Tax on higher income earners
- Kyoto
- George Bush

Howard wins when they talk about:
- Unions
- Practical environment solutions
- China

Pretty even on other things, like Indigenous affairs, Iraq, education, interest rates, inflation, child care.

It seemed the risks for both sides are with the team they have behind them. Johnny got poor marks when Turnbull and Costello are mentioned, and likewise Rudd when Combet and Shorten are spoken about.

COMMENTARY

I did like that the cricket analogy was used at the start. The PM sent Kevvy in to bat.
The Labour innings went like this....

The Labour openers score well with a few beautiful cut shots to the boundary in the first over. The cost of living comments are paying off well for Rudd.

After 10 overs, it's 0/65.

Johnny is still flat. But then he changes bowlers, brings on the spinners. Let's not get back to the old days with Union bosses!

After 20 overs, it's looking better for the home side. Both openers are back in the pavilion and it's 2/112.

Some comments about TV ads and broadband help the batting side here. It looks like those two wickets have not slowed down the scoring at all.

After 30 overs, it's 2/187.

Oh no, a dropped catch for the government. Why did he confirm that Costello would be the next captain! And he's doing a great job as vice captain now!

After 40 overs, it's moved on to 2/261. It looks like a big score to chase down.

More talk about unions, this should help the bowlers. And yes, finally the breakthrough! Comments about union financial support to the Labour party brings about a run-out. The new batsman to the crease is not fazed, the very next ball is launched over the boundary for six! Apparently people like what the unions did with James Hardie victims!

At the end of their 50 overs, the visitors (and the favourites by the way) and well in command, amassing a score of 3/339.

Now the home side is in to bat.

Poor start, no wickets but a slow run-rate. We shouldn't remind the public that the government have been in power for so long.

After 10 overs, 0/29. It's a long way home from here.

Wicket! A tax refund on computers yorks the batsman and knocks the middle stump out of the ground. Then more wickets tumble. Interest rates take their toll. A dodgy lbw decision makes things worse.

After 20 overs, 4/75. But it looks like rain.

Masterstroke from the PM! He calls Rudd pathetic! Brilliant batting PM! And it's a rain dance that has worked, the rain tumbles down and the covers go on.

This doesn't look good, we may not get a result.

But wait, it looks like things are clearing up. And yes, it's been announced that play will resume shortly. The revised target is 265 off 38 overs.

Back in the middle, the PM lays it all out, making statements about union policy on full employment being put aside over workplace control. Bit it's a swing and miss I'm afraid Johnny!

The next few overs pass and the battle is even.

After 30 overs, the government have regained some ground, but the win looks out of reach. 6/145. 120 needed off just 8 overs.

Nice play again from the PM. He needs to stay at the crease if the government are to have any hope in this match. Great hook shot over the link between the environment and the economy - good scoring opportunities here. 16 off that over!

Turnbull is out! Or is he? There's mass confusion in the middle. The PM backs Turnbull over bush and the crowd doesn't know whether to cheer or boo! The 3rd umpire gives him out. A good innings but now it's 7/199. 66 needed in 4 overs.

Trump cards now, talk about APEC and getting China to talk to the USA. Four! Four! Four! This is getting close!

No! Don't talk about Bush! Howard is out! 8/231.
Terrorism threat increased or decreased since Iraq? Out! 9/235.
Labour brings his strike bowler back straight away. Combat troops will be withdrawn from Iraq next year. But the edge goes through the slips! Missed chance there!

Are you sorry Johnny? Are you sorry that you're not sorry? No! It's disrespectful! Six! 9/250.
Just 14 needed off the last over.

Big Mal is at the crease now. Go Mal, Go Mal!
Four, Two, Dot, Two, Four!
Just two needed to win off the last ball!
Edged through cover, they get the first, coming back for the second, The return is fired in at the keeper..... and .... a run-out is it? Yes! it's a run-out! It's a tie! It's a hung debate.

More like a mastur-bate. It really was a wank, a toss, a pull, a slog, a tug, a jack-off.
I don't think it helped anyone make any decisions. I think it's foregone who Australia likes the most. We just won't know if this translates into votes.

I vote for Ray Martin. Or that dude from SkyNews, whoever he was.
Better yet, I vote for me.
Vote M for PM!
I'll give you free broadband, but you have to have my blog as your homepage. Deal?

Whoopee doo

Oh, looks like that last post was #100. If you don't count posts on my last blog. Hoorah. Do I get a 2 for 1 offer at Montezumas? How about a complimentary mint on my pillow? No? Okay. How about a $21 a week tax cut? Yes?!? Cool! Thanks. What if we get a hung parliament? Do I get $42?

Go me.

Language

Why the heck do we have words that mean more than one thing? I mean, if you want to describe something "new" pick a new word! Don't just pick a word that's already being used to describe something completely different and say "well, it means this now too." Here are some that are particularly interesting....

Culture:
1. Patterns of human activity and the symbolic structures that give such activity significance.
2. The growing of microorganisms in a nutrient medium.

Solution: Oh hang on - they're actually the same.... No solution required.

Deck:
1. A pack of cards
2. A raised wooden platform adjoining a house
3. To punch someone and they fall down

Solution: Call the cards a Dec, and the punch a Dek. Done.

Dock:
1. Water next to a pier
2. What I'll do to your pay if you're late!

Solution: Call the pay deduction a "Dohk", named after the famous industrialist Edward Dohk.

Draw:
1. Like with a pencil and paper
2. Equal scores
3. What you do with your weapons

Solution: When the scores are the same, call it a Drawtie. That covers off when it's a tie too. Ban guns, that'll fix that.

Fall:
1. To be one with gravity
2. What the yanks call Autumn.

Solution: Call it Autumn already!

Period:
1. A punctuation at the end of a sentence. i.e. a full stop.
2. Something that causes madness once a month in half of the petre dish's microorganisms.

Solution: Call it a full stop. I do. What's wrong with you?

Pontoon:
1. A buoyancy device
2. Blackjack

Solution: Call it Blackjack. Der.

Root:
1. What Wombats eat with leaves.
2. What Aussie blokes do before they leave.
3. What Yanks do at a sporting event.

Solution: Leave the trees alone, use fuck and cheer.

Shower:
1. How we keep clean
2. What chicks do when other chicks have babies.

Solution: Call the baby shower what it is, an excuse for a girly party.

Strike:
1. Swinging and missing a baseball
2. Hitting any other type of ball
3. Industrial action.

Solution: If you miss the baseball, you have not struck it, so it cannot be a strike! C'mon, what's the matter here! Call it a miss already! As for the industrial action, just call it a Mass-Dohk.

Get this....
Trapezium:
1. a quadrilateral with one pair of parallel sides (English definition)
2. a quadrilateral with no parallel sides (Yank definition)
Trapezoid:
1. a quadrilateral with one pair of parallel sides (Yank definition)
2. a quadrilateral with no parallel sides (English definition)

Solution: Have a meeting, decide once and for all and send us all a memo.

QED.
What's next?

Fucking Idiots, Pt 2

In fact, this song sums it up nicely too......

The Cure - Shiver and Shake

You're just a waste of time
You're just a babbling face
You're just three sick holes that run like sores
You're a fucking waste
You're like a slug on the floor
Oh you're useless and ugly
And useless and ugly
And I shiver and shake
When I think of how you make me hate

I want to smash you to pieces
I want to smash you up and screaming
I want to smash you helpless
Down on the floor
Smash you until you're not here anymore

And I shiver and shake
Shiver and shake

Yes, I think that sums it up nicely.

Fucking Idiots

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Excuse my cussing gentle readers.....

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking idiot.
How can you be so fucking rude, stupid, clueless, fucking, fucking, gaaaah!
Fuck off up that fucking rat hole you oozed out of and go fuck yourself.
You're a waste of fucking oxygen.
I hope you die and rot and fester and decay in fucking hell.
I hope the worst of your past is the best of your future.

Fuck you.


Phew, that feels better!

If I had a dollar

If only I had a dollar every time....

.... someone I already did not respect disagreed with with me
.... someone I did already respect agreed with me
.... I went with my head and regretted it
.... I forgot what listening meant
.... I flew rather than fought
.... I wished I could actually fly away
.... I felt uncomfortable singing my own praises
.... I allowed myself to do something less important ahead of something more important
.... I started reading a book and never finished
.... I realised my intentions are greater than my ability
.... I realised my plans are broader than time allows
.... I realised my dreams are further out of reach than I thought
.... I wished I had the words to express what I really wanted to say
.... I realised I could not explain what I know to be true
.... I wanted to punch my boss in the face

What is it to be rich?

Flavour
Wealth
Experience
Colour
Music
Prose
Aroma
Love
History
Time
Life

Election?

So little Johnny has gone and called the election date. Giddy up.

Since I am interested in the outcome, but not to the extent that I will march in a street with a banner, my post is bound to be somewhat in the middle. I suppose I am right wing, but only because I'm not left. But isn't that the definition of right wing anyhow?

I think whatever way you're going to vote, it lines up with a certain biblical philosophy. Particularly about unconditional election.

I quote from wiki....

In Calvinism, this election is called "unconditional" because his choice to save someone does not hinge on anything inherent in the person or on any act that the person performs or belief that the person exercises.

Similar to voting Kevin'07, since a vote for Kevin is just a vote against Johnny. Our vote does not hinge on anything inherent in the person (he's as boring as Johnny) or any act that the person performs (what has he done??) or belief that the person exercises (except that he believes the opposite to Johnny).

or.....

the Armenian doctrine of conditional election in which God's eternal choice to save a person is conditioned on God’s certain foreknowledge of future events, namely, that certain individuals would exercise faith and trust in response to God's offer of salvation.

Similar to voting for Johnny, since our vote is all about our belief that we have foreknowledge of future events, namely, that voters would exercise faith and trust in response to Johnny's offer of a strong economy.

I wonder if there's an unconditional election doctrine for the Greens?
There used to be one for the Democrats, but I can't remember who they are anymore.

A world away and time ago

I remember the dust doesn't take as long to settle as you think. Then, I walk. The weight is not a burden, but I do not forget. It effects my balance. The stones are not slippery here. There are even parts of walking trail off to one side, as a reminder that I'm headed the right way. But I remember, like it was only yesterday. I can hear the water now, splashing down from above. I need to cross before I climb. That tree root, always seemed dead, clinging to the rocks, is still there. I always expect it to be broken, yet it is not, every time I am here. It's in the perfect position for a hand grab, helps me up. At the top, I look down. It's not grand but it feels like mine, this waterfall. A few more metres off to the side. Hammock between two trees. I remember playing cards, drinking wine, and vodka. Jumping into the water - into just the right spot between the rocks - and back again. An eel brushes against my leg. There are voices, some others come to visit. But only for a short while. No-one else stays. They don't know this place (really) like I do. I'm glad. The night is always cool, the breeze always gentle, the stars always bright. Then later, the rain always light. I can spend days and days here. Just me, a friend, and the goannas. I am fifteen and this is my escape.

Breather

Can I put the brakes on the world please?




STOP




Can we all just sit down together and talk over a coffee?
Thanks.

Brain Dump

I'd originally wanted to set this blog up to allow some space to unload all the junk going on in my brain. To de-charge. Some people exercise, listen to music, or fuck. Most often, I need to re-sort my thoughts. Time to throw some things on the page and shuffle them around for later use. Ready?

Change is a circular process, not a linear one, so I welcome it's speed.
I'm not really actively passionate about anything and I think that's sad.
I always thought I was here for a reason. Am I waiting for it to be presented to me?
They say regret is usually because you didn't do something. It's true.
I trust my gut more and more all the time. So much so that I can't explain my logic in words.
I've been told that I often leave people behind when I explain something, that I speak on a different level.
I really, really, really love the 2 minutes of my day when I walk in the house and all the kids run to the door yelling daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy and give me big hugs around my legs. It's about my favourite thing in the world. If only they were bringing chocolate icecream for me too, it'd be perfect.
I can't get "I'm drunk, can't see my glass" out of my head, although I haven't heard Golden Playpen (INXS - Shabooh Shoobah) for years and years and years and you probably don't even know the song.
I don't know sometimes if I'm holding on too tight, or letting go too easily.
I don't like putting myself in other peoples shoes
I'm never going to have a mid-life crisis. It will be a gradual slide that gently rides me up and down, like a rollercoaster baby baby.
Now I've got "Shine Like it Does" in my mind too...

That will do. I'm tired. Goodnight from me (and goodnight from him).

A letter to my father

Dad,

I might start by saying that I'm not sure what I'm going to write, and whatever I do, you might not understand. Is that because I'm not sure that you understand me? Not sure. Perhaps I can't explain to you really what I want to say because I don't really know.

There were some things I never understood about you. Still don't. There seemed to me always a laissez-faire atmosphere about you. About you about me. I think perhaps what really was going on was that you didn't know how to be a dad. You did of course, but you weren't confident about it. Yes, that's it. Were you a confident father? I didn't get that impression. Did I need that? I'm not sure.

The one thing I admire about you though is that you never seem to let your frustrations get the better of you. You just take it all in. Absorb it. I never learnt anger from you. This is a good thing.

I'd written this letter before. Many years ago. It read very different to this one. The last one was filled with misunderstood shame and disappointment. A splash of resentment. I was young and naive. My years add respect to yours. As my wisdom grows, yours becomes apparent. Yet strangely, I can't help but think that luck played a strong part.

Emotions have unique ways of presenting themselves. We all know when you have things bottled up. You pace and frown. You look down and you look down. You get busy doing nothing. I am the same. You know, I don't know what you are passionate about. I am the same. But just because you do not have a passion, does not mean you are not passionate.

I wonder if you are happy. Like really. Is the journey enough or is there an end in mind? I wonder if I can answer the same? Sorry for the random babble. Perhaps this is more a letter to myself than it is to you.

Definitely looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks time. I'll make us pizza and share a beer. Sit and chat about nothing. Just be in our space together, where we are comfortable. Like two brothers. Like nothing has changed. Or ever will. This is what we do, and what I miss. The understanding that exists without words.

M

A secret

We just lost the damb rugby to damb England and I can't get to sleep. So I'm back here again while I cool down.

Time to let you in on a secret. Each Saturday, I make pizza for the family. No big deal, I've noted this before. The difference this time is that I'm going to give you the recipe for making the base. Now I've been doing this for a little while. Slowly perfecting my technique, here, there, until I get it just right. I'm no pro, but the pizza tastes damb good (there's that word again). And yes, the picture above is the very pizza from tonight. I was actually that impressed with it I just had to snap a shot. Well, actually, this is one of three I made, I always make enough for three. We used to eat all three, but now there's enough for left over. Tonight we had garlic bread too so there's a whole pizza left to have for lunch while watching Bathurst tomorrow. Go Skaifey. But I digress.

Here goes....

I use a bread machine to mix the dough. Slightly cheating, yes, yes, whatever. It works good and it saves on effort.

• I'm not sure if you're supposed to keep the yeast in the fridge or not, but I do. So step one, two teaspoons in the bowl.
• Then four cups of bakers flour. Plain flour is ok too but the result is just that little bit better with bakers flour. (....not self-raising flour!)
• Put in a slosh of vegetable oil. Now a slosh is actually a technical term. I'm not going to tell you exactly what it is, but I know exactly what my slosh is. Start with two tablespoons and experiment to find your slosh. It works better if you can customise your technique. I find the result is highly dependent on the slosh technique, what feels right. Trust yourself and fight the urge to measure. The love makes up for it.
• A few teaspoons or a couple of tablespoons of sugar. A bit like the oil, go with your gut on this. You must do this immediately after the oil, because the technique is all about flow. Good flow is good mojo.
• Salt: three pinches, using your pointer finger and thumb from your right hand.
• Lastly, add the water. 330mL exactly. This is very important to get the water to flour to yeast ratio correct. And equally important. DO NOT USE WARM WATER. It will fuck it up. Did you write that down? Underline it in red please.
• This will be enough to make three large pizzas. Scale to suit.

Now my machine takes two and a half hours to mix, nead, rest, nead, rest the dough. So have a beer and enjoy the footy.....

Once it's done I split into three and roll out nice and thin. Lately, I've been folding over a finger width of the edge, pressing it down to make the edge a bit thicker (notice in the photo?) and all like a bought one and all.

I use pizza stones too, to cook them on. Get these really froidin hot and whack the base right on there, then put your sauce and toppings on quick. Our standard fare is just tomato paste, ham, pineapple and pizza cheese (mixture or mozzarella, cheddar and parmesan). This is the family favourite. I really prefer my pizza with a Gyulai salami, fresh basil, and bocconcini but hey, you can't always have it your own way. Just like in the rugby.

I'm not sure whether to settle for supporting the kiwis now, or hope for a surprise with Fiji or Argentina. Just anyone but the poms. Goodnight.

You've got mail

Apparently..... I am a lover of contempory dance.
Excuse me?
Apparently..... I was a supporter of the 2007 Sydney Festival
Say what?
Apparently..... I am a friend of the Sydney Dance Company
Che?

You get all sorts of interesting things in the mailbox. This one was the best one for a while. Addressed to me, personally. The letter went like this.....

Dear Friend,

Many thanks for your support of the 2007 Sydney Festival. As a lover of contempory dance, we are pleased to extend a special offer from the Sydney Dacne Company to the return season of Graeme Murphy's Berlin at the Theatre Royal, Sydney.

etc

Now I don't have anything against contempory dance, the Sydney Festival or the Sydney Dance Company. But how the freak did you get my name and address? and why the freak do you think I am a lover slash supporter of said things?

Well all I can say Ms Gina Bowman; Manager, Marketing and Communications is fuck you very much. Your management of marketing and communications aint up to scratch!

Ten on Friday

Thanks mg, I'll just steal your idea for a post.

10 television shows you'd like to have (or already have*) on DVD

1. The West Wing*
Now, The West Wing is simply the best TV show of all time. If you didn't know this already, then I lay my pity upon you :) I miss you West Wing! A substitute is Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Not shown in Australia yet, and only one season made before it was axed.

2. Coupling*
Coupling is the most hilarious comedy of recent times. If you've been living under a rock and don't know what I'm talking about... Do yourself a Molly Meldrum.

3. The Sopranos*
The second best drama of all time. Looooved the ending.

4. Criminal Minds
Only in it's third season (just started in the US) but already a contender for the best crime show of all time.

5. The Ren and Stimpy Show
Need I say more. OK, I will. The original adult childish humour, rocks over Southpark any day. Don't wiz on the electric fence!

6. The Iron Chef (Japanese version)
Forget the US version, that's shite. Matsutake mushrooms are the bomb!

7. Top Gear
Hilarious and blokey at the same time. Perfection. Go the stig!

8. The Office* (UK version)
Another example where the US version blows. The chicken suit episode literally made my sides split. I was sore for a week!

9. Two Pints of Lager (and a Packet of Crisps)*
Not shown in Australia. 6 seasons in the UK, a bit like coupling but more pommy-ocker style. Takes some warming up to, but Corinthian rocks.

10. Gilmore Girls (for K)
When I'm busy doing something else.... :)

It's the question that brought you here

There is no spoon
Do you want to know what it is?
Welcome to the real world

Waffle wrapped waffle

And the moon rose, over an open field. And her face pressed tight and all around the night sang out like cockatoos. Watch out for the hitman. Can't take the smell, can't take the noise. Skyscraper, I love you. In the jungle, the mighty jungle. Everybody comes to a party, expecting a miracle. Who's laughing now? What the world needs today, a little spiritual healing. Wake me up low with a fever.


Excuse my ramblings. You know it's very easy to write when there's something on my mind. Or when something is going on. Or when I'm happy about something. Or when I'm confused. Or afraid. Or alone. Or excited. But what about the other 85% of normal time?


Boring!


That's right now. I could waffle on about some bullshit that no-one will want to read about. And for what? And for what? Or should I say; And for who?


Do my posts have a style? Is there some unique-ity about me? About what I write, or even about how I write? Or am I a Sergeant shmo?

If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

While stocks last... (Edit : Sorry, no rainchecks)

Edit : You snooze, you lose. Back to anon.... :-)

Bufferfly

Why thank you. Yes, I am very talented. Just another day at the office....