Roooaaaar!

54-10

:-)

AAAARHRGRHGRR!

Aaaaaarrghghhhhghhgrrhhghrhh!

Flugishikalrrrrrakakakamannaaa!

Cukkacaaannaaaklrrrraaaaffaaaa!

Grrrraaarrrrfffuuuuccccckkkkkk!

Sasafrakinfrakinsasifrakinfrakin!

Krapakrapakrreeaaaghhghghggh!

I'm fucking cranky!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!

FFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKIT!

genii

I've posted about my musical preferences before. Here are some examples. The best of the best.

Underworld

Jimi Hendrix

John Legend

Jim Morrison

The Cure

QED

The way it is

Sorry son, for being sad for you when actually I am sad for me.
I want things to be different. I want you to be you, but not.
I want me to be the me I always dreamed but realised I will not.
It's not your fault. I love you. Always.

Kaaa-ching!

I had given up hope. But now it appears that my blog is worth something. According to technorati that is. See the thingy over there.... ----->

Psychic Powers

I must have psychic powers. Four days ago, I was flipping through my CD collection to refresh the pack I keep in the car. Adore - Smashing Pumpkins. Yeah, an old favourite. Enjoying it over the past few days, I decided I'd come and post about it. In doing my normal wiki research on the album, I find instead that the Pumpkins have just released a brand new album - Zeitgeist. Sweet. The reviews I've read have been mixed. I'll let you know after I get hold of a copy and lay back one night with the Sennheisers on. Ciou.

I shed a tear for you

I never used to consider myself an "emotional" person. I was always the one who appeared uncaring, aloof perhaps. Certainly as a teenager. Not now. I can't hide it as easily as I used to. Call it maturity. Call it development of empathy. Whatever. There are things that I taught myself to suppress that I don't want to anymore.

My father was the same. Although he is still the same. Not that that's a bad thing. That's just the way it is. I find myself becoming more like him more and more, in some ways, and less like him in others. Mannerisms, tone of speech, expression of frustration and joy - all the same. Emotional growth, change, thinking style - all different. I think.

Anyway, there is a more specific purpose for todays post. Tears came to my eyes today.

A number of years ago, my sister lost her husband. That fucking disease. He fought hard and died with dignity. I met him under fairly unique circumstances. It was my wedding day. He and my sister had been going out for a little while and she brought him to the wedding. "Hi, you must be M. I'm C".

When he was sick, I had not thought too much about it. I knew how I was supposed to feel. I behaved in the way I was supposed to behave. We travelled to where they lived, to see him, as we thought his days might be numbered. This time will be remembered by all the family as a special time. The time we were all together. And although it wasn't spoken, we all knew that this was our goodbye. The news of him passing came soon after. And I cried more than I expected I would. I miss him. I miss how my sister was when he was her husband. And I still shed a tear for you C when I think about you. And your life cut far far too short.

I hope they have broadband in heaven. Cheers mate.

Disgraceful

I know. It's been a while (by my standards) since I've posted. Disgraceful!. But what to post. I'm bored. I know, I'll post about Disgraceful. Let's see.

Google Image Search : The most disgraceful person of all time

Milli Vanilli Haha!

But why stop at disgraceful? What about.....

Annoying?

Dee Snider! Nooooooo! Nooooooo!

Stupid?

No surprises here dubbya!

Gullible?

Feared?

Heurehlo da Silva Gomes! What the?
Romantic?

LOL!

Revered?

Can't choose between Superman and Batman!

And finally, beautiful ?

Halle Berry

I don't pick-em, so don't blame me!

M vs Frankl

Upon receiving some extraordinarily outstanding advice, I picked up Frankl's "A man's search for meaning" recently. I guess unless you're insanely stupid, you've already picked up on the vibe that I thought the book was somewhat awesome.

Essentially, Frankl writes about his experiences with Auschwitz and his theory of logotherapy. And while his stories about Auschwitz were interesting enough, I would have preferred less of this detail and more detail on logotherapy theory.

Now I'm no psychologist, psychiastrist, or anything else psych-ist (although I am an -ist), but I do have a greater-than-your-average-bear interest in behavioural theories. That said, at times I found the book was written in a way that might exclude many readers. I think if you were to ask Microsoft Word to compile the Readability Statistics on this book, the Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level would be over 14.

There was certainly many aspects of the theory that I agree with. Firstly, the part about being "optimistic". Frankl speaks about applying meaning to any situation and therefore you can optimistic about it. This has expanded my belief around how development of your ability to be hopeful will enhance your ability to be happy. So now not only do I believe it is possible to be happier in your life by rationalising an optimistic viewpoint (in the realms of personalisation, permanence and pervasiveness) of any event, but also attaching meaning to it will work too.

If my interpretation is correct, Frankl's view on self-transcendence and self-actualisation are similar to those of Maslow. The hierarchy of needs describes self-transcendence as being accessible from any level. Frankl certainly implies the same thing. There is a distinct difference however. Frankl argues that "self-actualisation is possible only as a by product of self-transcendence". Maslow implies that you can gain a level of self-actualisation without self-transcendence. Without another frame of reference, my instinct is that it is likely that when we try to define human spirit into a model, no matter how complex, there are parts that are non-linear and neither theory can explain neatly. I'm comfortable with the idea that the concepts of self-actualisation and self-transcendence exist and there is no clear path to follow to reach either.

Now, due to my confirmation biases, I'll end this post here. I'll need to read the book again I think to better form opinion on the parts of logotherapy that did not neatly sit within my sphere of existing understanding. Watch this space.

Existentialist Fortune Cookie #3

Dad is great!

There seems to be a new tradition forming in our household. Whenever I make the kids breakfast or something they really like, we sing "Dad is great". Of course, I'm the lead. If you don't know what I mean, take a look at this Cosby video. It's a classic.

Bill Cosby Himself - Chocolate Cake

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Existentialist Fortune Cookie #2

What is your world view?

You scored as Cultural Creative, Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational. Cultural Creative 94% Existentialist 75% Postmodernist 69% Idealist 69% Fundamentalist 50% Materialist 50% Modernist 44% Romanticist 38% What is Your World View? created with QuizFarm.com

Cool. I like the description of my world view. Spiritual AND a modern thinker.

Which Existentialist Philospher are you?

You scored as Martin Heidegger, You are Martin Heidegger. You are a very wordy person that believes we classify objects by their function, and that community is essential. Once we are in a community, then it is possible for us to differentiate ourselves. You also might have sympathetic feelings towards Nazis. Martin Heidegger 64% Jean-Paul Sartre 54% Soren Kierkegaard 50% Albert Camus 36% Friedrich Nietzsche 29% Not An Existentialist 25% Which Existentialist Philosopher Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

Existentialist Fortune Cookie #1

What the?!

This is very, very weird. Is it a coincidence or was it destined to happen due to my schema?

Yesterday, I picked up a book from the store called Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl. (It finally came in).

Today, while cleaning out a cupboard in my new office I came across some material on The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.

According to Wikipedia, Covey emphasises the original sense of the term "pro-active" as coined by Viktor Frankl.

What the?! Slap me and call me a logotherapist! Excuse my full brain? Excuse me while I kiss the sky!

I cheated, I confess

I don't want to be buried in a Pet Sematary,
I don't want to live my life again.
-- The Ramones

When I was in year 5 at school, we had to write a story. I condensed Stephen King's Pet Sematary into two pages. The teacher did not know. I won 50 cents prize money for third place. And the teacher incorrectly corrected my spelling of Sematary.

What was I doing reading horror stories when I was only 10? Good question. What was my mother thinking? I remember that there was a "sex" scene in the book, but my mother craftily pinned some cardboard over that page. Like that was gonna work. Something about a sponge bath if I recall.

Hug anyone?

Ever hugged a tree? In my world, it's when you get 'soft' or 'touchy feely' in the workplace. So tree hugging is metaphorical, not literal. The association is drawn from the fact that team bonding sessions always seem to occur in a retreat somewhere in the forest, and hugging usually takes place. Geese fly in formation to help each other. Honk!



And here's a site that makes for interesting reading. Not tree hugging, but hugs of some description. This confession made me laugh ....

"I want to go through a lesbian phase in college. I want to be able to turn my husband on years later by telling him about it"

Observe

I know you're there.

I know you're watching.

What are you looking for?

Why don't you say hello?

Come on out.

Don't be shy.

Don't be shy.

It's only me.

I don't (won't) bite.

Hello

!

My tour. Next stop. Here.

think. know. aware. awake. light. sun. heat. winter. snow. white. bright. glare. sunglasses. tint. window. clear. wipe. work. sweat. damp. mould. green. frog. kermit. pig. pink. sing. song. lyrics. words. write. pencil. sharp. wit. humour. laugh. belly. cancer. fear. jump. jetty. sail. breeze. crisp. lettuce. leaf. tree. solid. heavy. shoulders. broad. ass. round. circle. compass. north. magnet. attraction. lust. sex. ecstasy. drugs. weed. garden. grow. tall. above. better. prize. deserve. pride. heart. pound. puppy. cute. nose. sneeze. cold. shiver. pimple. adolescence. learn. think.

It didn't take too long. I started with a word, then put down a word that I associated with that word, then the word that I associated with that word, etc. It took a whopping 60 words to get to sex, but only 82 to get back to the beginning.

If you've gotten to this line, thank you for allowing me the privilege of imparting my imperfections to your screen. Forgive me? I will forgive me soon.
The more you know, the more you know what you've forgotten. I thought I made a mistake once but I was mistaken.
I heard the one saying twice today. "I'm busier than a one-legged Riverdancer."
We ran out of chocolate ice-creams before I got even one. C'est la vie.
I have a cunning plan.
I can relate to relatively anything. Except relativity.

You know, the first blog I ever read was one I found after a search for "intellectual blog" (or something like that). My first post to that blog (something about IR and WorkChoices) was met with a very satisfying response. I felt that what I had to say was worth listening to. And a stranger was willing to discuss this with me. That's cool.

Viva la tour!

25-17

George Gregan's last test on Australian soil

Stephen Larkham's last test on Australian soil

Stephen Larkham's 100th test

South Africa 17-0 after 14 minutes

It wasn't looking like a fairytale farewell

I said to the South African next to me

"The Panthers were up 20-4 at one point on Friday night and the Tigers came back to win"

"That won't happen, our team will win"

A missed penalty by South Africa

I say "That will be the turning point of the game"

Then this happened....

The rest is history

No biltong for you! No biltong for you!

Bring on the All Blacks!

Bring on France 2007!

ROAR!

How Funny?

How funny is this.... Somebody found my blog after a web search for, wait for it...

gordon gano phone number

ha!

Plagiarism

I hope you hate this post. I already regret what I'm about to do. But I promised myself to sometimes go with my gut. Every now and then. Reading another blog today I was hurt-by-something-somebody-said-before-I-understood-it-wasn't-directed-at-me. But I'll react anyway, what the fuck. Thanks for this little gem for inspiration. (No, will you fuck off already). I don't mind if you don't reply swirly girl, I know you've read it anyway. :-)

Dear Single People,

Will you fuck off already?

I don't care about how shit your life is. I don't care about how much of an asshole your ex is. I love the fact that my wife uses my name.

For all that is holy, I know that you are single--YOU WERE THE FUCKING BRIDESMAID! NEVER THE BRIDE! And you were the one that helped my wife pick out the fucking flowers for the wedding! You were the one that choked down my wedding cake you fat pig! You even hit on my uncle behind the stage after the toasts because you didn't want to be the only one not getting laid that night-blah-blah-blah.

You are lonely. We all get it.

All this "My ex-boyfriend" this and (no that's it) that has got to stop. Immediately.

Now find something else of interest and do something constructive with your time like learn to cut foam core or learn about your life--oh wait, I could teach you about your life in one post. Better stick to the foam core thing.

All the best, you assholes,
M

Of course I'm kidding.
It's late and I needed a laugh.
Don't worry, it's not really directed at you.
Really.
Really really.
Was it a bit harsh, over the line? Oh well, flame away.....
I wonder if this post will get me an R-rating now.
It was only PG before.
Shit shit shit shit!

Excuse me, my brain was full.

That's better......

Happiness Hypothesis

So often lately I read an article in the newspaper or see a show on TV or even read a blog and someone is talking about the pursuit of happiness. There is a happiness institute, where they teach you how to be happy. Philosophers debate what happiness is and whether it is even achievable. What do you think? This post is a commentary. This is what I think. This is my happiness reality, that is, my theory. It works for me. It helps me understand and therefore it has purpose for me.

First of all, I want to consider for a moment, the times in my life when I was happy. And I mean really happy. Think for yourself. Landing your first job, or a big promotion. Your first kiss, or the first time you got laid. Your wedding day. Your first born. Your engagement party (this was a hugely happy day for me, one of the most enjoyable days of my life). Finishing your school or university exams. Retirement day. Buying your first home. All big events. But what is unique about them? They are all a change from one thing to another. They are ususally a big step too. And often, it has required a lot of effort.

I don't feel the same happiness now about my home as I did on the first day we moved in. But there certainly is some happiness there about it, especially on reflection. I love my wife as much today as the day we married, but the feeling of happiness about it is different. I'm not punching the air as we kiss on the front step for example. I still have my university degree and I still have my job. This is a point that I make about happiness. There are kinds of happiness.

One kind is the one where you experience a significant change in your life. It is not necessarily the outcome itself that causes the happiness, but rather the promise of better things to come. It is the fact that you have an explicit and strong awareness of what was and how much better things are now and more importantly will be in the future. The other kind is the general background level of happiness you have. It is the things that happen everyday. It's determined by your ability to be happy, to allow yourself to be happy, or rather, not to allow yourself to be un-happy. This is the bit where I will find it difficult to explain without some science.

Allow me to introduce the work of a dude called Maslow. You may have heard of him. He did some work in the 40's about human motivation.

His 'hierarchy of needs' is a theory that proposes that we all have different needs at different levels and that generally we must have a lower level need met before a higher one can be sought. Generally, most or all aspects of one lower level need must be met before we can seek out needs in a higher level. For the most part, I agree with this theory since it seems to apply very well to my own situation. And since I have no other frame of reference, then I have to accept this as my truth. This theory also helps me explain what I mean about background level of happiness, and why the big things in our lives make us happy. When a big event occurs, like buying your first home, it ususually will represent a step from one needs level to another. All in one go. If you've been homeless, it is a step from Physiological to Safety. If you're moving out of home, it represents a step from Love/Belonging to Esteem. You see what I mean? We find these things hugely happy moments due to the massive increase in human needs that are met in that one instant. The theory also explains background happiness. If you have all of these things, food in your belly, a roof over your head, family and friends around you and a job that you're good at - it means that it's very likely that you've got the bottom three or four levels covered. This allows you to explore more things at the top layers. Spend time being creative, explore new interests, do volunteer work, etc. The fact is that when you have basic and intermediate needs met, and you're not having to work too hard to maintain them, you have the time and resources to seek out much more satisfying things. And this does not happen consciously, but we seek it naturally. So the background happiness is all the things that we take for granted.

I think this is going to be a long post. For those who want my secret for being happy, stick with me now. Stick with me...

So I've encountered debate that the pursuit of happiness is fruitless. That once you decide to seek it, you can never reach it. I agree and disagree. To explain how this is not fence sitting, I first need to explain something else I believe about why some people are happier than others.

You notice that optimistic people are happier, generally, than others. Some might say that this is more about ignorance-is-bliss. No, ignorance-is-bliss is more about avoiding the negative rather than recognising what an optimist is. Or rather, how they think. Here's where I need to introduce some more theory. Another dude called Seligman wrote about Explanatory Style. Basically it describes how people explain to themselves why they experience a particular event as being positive or negative.

Consider these three descriptors about an event. Permanence, pervasiveness and personalisation.

Permanence is the belief of how long a particular good or bad event will last. Optimists believe that good things will last a long time and bad things will not. Vice-versa for pessimists.

Pervasiveness is the belief of how much a particular good or bad event in one aspect of one's life will carry through to and effect other parts of their life. Optimists believe that good things will impact on other parts of their life but bad things will not.

Personalisation is the belief about how much a particular event is one's own doing. Optimists believe that good events occur because they played a hand in it but bad events were out of their control.

Now the concept of "hope" is a function of how much you believe that bad events will be non-permanent and non-pervasive. This is where I believe it links to Maslow's hierarchy in terms of how optimistic people are happier. A person who has a high level of hope will tend to subconsciously fill up the lower level needs quicker or before they are even actually met since they believe that they have hope that they will be. So an optimistic person will believe that their lower level needs are not really a problem (even if they are to someone else) and therefore are naturally seeking out higher level needs. Comprende?

So back to the question, can you seek happiness and actually achieve it? The answer is no if you seek possessions - the things that we associate with enjoyment. The answer is yes if you work on the way you think about things. If you actively work on being hopeful (and you can by the way) then this allows your hierarchy of needs to be more completely filled and you will be much happier as a result.

Still with me? Good...

I've also encountered a discussion that poses the question that living a life of poverty is virtuous. What's that got to do with happiness? Quite a bit. Consider these theories again, and who usually lives by the belief that poverty is virtuous? Consider monks in a monestary, or nuns in a nunnery. They will almost certainly consider that poverty is virtuous. But how can they? Well this can be answered by these theories. Lets say that you have a super-great amount of hope about any situtation. For example, that God will provide for you. You will be ever so much more likely to forego lower level needs willingly in order to satisfy higher level needs. And they still have a roof over their head, the love of those around them and of their God. It is in this circumstance that self-transcendence is possible. This is the level above self-actualisation in the hierarchy. I think it is very likely that true self-transcence is possible only with some form of sacrifice of the lower levels of needs, such as money. This likely can only be possible if the upper level needs are so strongly met and that some of the lower level needs still exist to some extent. In this sense, poverty is a virtue not because of what it is, but because it enables us the ultimate level of happiness.

This is where the debate about happiness and religion collide. My discussion is leading to the point that true happiness, the uppermost peak of needs being met is possible only when you have absolute faith that lower needs will always be met. Am I contradicting myself? I'm not sure. I don't think so. I still think that as you progress though life, your capacity to progress up the hierarchy continues. You have more and more time to reflect. You become more accepting of our place. You smell the roses. Happiness in small steps begets more happiness. Happiness is not a state in your life. Happiness is your life. Having lived a life is actually what happiness is. It's ups and downs. The good and bad. The journey itself. I said in a reply in another blog recently. I don't need a religion to hide my fears of my mortality. I predict that when I'm in my final days, I will be happy and accepting of my fate. I will not be fearful since I will have transcended my needs and that it what ultimate happiness is.

So this is the point of everything. Happiness is life.

So that ends the first lesson in Happiness 101 at EMFBU (Excuse my full brain university).
A pass mark for every student who read everything and posts a reflective comment.

Goodnight.

Pain in the neck!

Not much more to say really. My neck hurts! I'm guessing one of the scalene muscles, but what do I know? It started on the left side, now it's moved to the right. I'm betting that by tomorrow it'll be down my back, in the deltoid. And it will clear up by the weekend.

Love is for suckers

I was reflecting on how my taste in music has changed dramatically. Not just recently, at many stages in my life. I think that in some ways, the music you listen to, or rather the change in your taste, is a reflection of your life. For example, I've been listening to music that is a lot more 'soul-full' lately. A reflection of a need to chill more and keep the blood pressure low. So for sake of nostalgia, here is my life's journey via music.

Early high school - Pop

Like most kids, I was into whatever was popular at the time. In the 80's, I was into INXS, The Cure and Samantha Fox (hehe). I even saw an Uncanny X-Men concert once. My first cassette tape was INXS The Swing. As for Samantha Fox, Touch Me conjured up all sorts of images in my developing mind. Overall, a time of my musical past that while I can acknowledge, I'd still rather forget.

Mid high school - Heavy Metal

I began to get heavily influenced by the musical tastes of my year 10 girlfriend. Putting it bluntly, she was a head-banger. She was into Megadeath, Metallica and Iron Maiden. While at first Iron Maiden actually made me feel a bit physically ill (really!) I grew to like it and bought a few tapes (Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, The Number of the Beast, Fear of the Dark, and my favourite Live After Death. Scream for me Long Beach! Nice to see ya, to see ya - nice!). I also got into Twisted Sister. Yes well. I was only 15. Play it loud mutha! I used to have one of those canvas backpacks you'd get from the Army disposals stores. I had the Twisted Sister logo all over it. In black Artline, green spray paint and Liquid Paper. I was all class. Speaking of class, in my year 9 music class, we were asked to choose a love song, play it to the rest of the class and then describe what the lyrics were all about. I chose Twisted Sister Love is for Suckers from the album of the same name. I remember the looks of astonishment on everyone's faces (except my best mate who did Twisted Sister's version of Leader of the Pack). I actually got a good mark though. The classic lines from this song are at the end (and I think this is why I got a good mark).

I'm a sucker, you're a sucker
He's a sucker, she's a sucker (love is for suckers)
Would you like to be a sucker too, be a sucker?
Love is for suckers, yeah, yeah
Sucker

Uni days - Rock

So the days are full of half days at lectures and half days drinking at the uni bar. Thursday nights usually began with Nachos around 5:30. Then beer and stay to see the band. I was into The Violent Femmes, Soundgarden, Jimmy Hendrix, Superjesus, The Screaming Jets, Live, Chili Peppers, Hoodoo Gurus, Morphine, Tool. I remember seeing Caligula play there one night (remember Tears of a Clown??). Our crazy Russian friend stage diving. And going to see The Femmes (let's party at Waves!) at the height of their popularity was awesome. Gordon Gano is so small. One of my favourite things to do on a Friday night (at the POT) was to bounce to Blister in the Sun. Pity for everyone's toes I stomped on. Lemme go on!

There's a common thread that joins high school to uni to even today. Underworld. I was a fan back when Underneath the Radar was first released and have faithfully bought every album since. Transition from pop to techno. This introduced me to techno and a whole new world of music. None other compare though to the genius of Karl Hyde and Rick Smith. I've just found out on dirty.org that they are finally releasing a new album in October. Bring it!

Graduate days - More rock and electronica

My rock tastes refine somewhat. The White Stripes and Evanescence. Techno expands a bit. More Underworld, but also Armand Van Helden and a bunch of Ministry of Sound stuff. A bit of ambient. Generic. I start to get interested in creating my own sounds too, see here. If you want to download the 5.7Mb, let me know what you think. This track is one I put together about five years ago.

Present day - Soul

My latest trend is for things that chill me out. I'm into great vocals and smooth sounds. John Legend is my number one at the moment. Do your self a Molly Meldrum and get onto this. Also, Corinne Bailey Rae, Joss Stone, Amel Larrieux, India Arie, Lina and Heather Headley.

How pissed was I this week when I found out John Legend was in Australia in May - and I didn't know! Bah! Now having read this post, let's go and Get Lifted!

!