Who am I?

Who am I?

cdp at tortious posted a pic of herself after being tagged for The Face Behind the Blog and subsequently tagged all her readers. So Full Brain Readers; a poll...

Do you want to see what a bloke with a full brain looks like? Who is the M-meister?
Or would you prefer him to remain a man of mystery? Cast your votes now!

What I'll soon be listening to

Oblivion with Bells - Underworld

Very exciting... or is it just me?

Rehab

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said, "No, no, no" - Amy Winehouse

According to Wikipedia, there shiteloads of different types of rehab.
Here's some more I reckon there should be.....

Yeah-Yeah Rehab : For the non-hirsute.

Road-Rage Rehab : For those who get smashed in the face for cutting me off in traffic.

WorkChoices Rehab : For those fucked in the arse by Johnny's IR laws.

ACTU Rehab : For those soon to be fucked in the arse by Ruddy's IR laws.

Back-Door-Benny Rehab : For everyone else who's been fucked in the arse by the law.

Literary Rehab : If you needed to look up what hirsute means.

Blog Rehab : Where ciscobaby is.

Jitters Rehab : If there's too much coffee (too much caaawfey!)

Tigers Rehab : If you don't know who Back-Door-Benny is

Nymphomaniac Rehab : email me ;-)

Self Rehab: So I can "get over myself."

Any more? What rehab do you need?

I rode Percy

He's waaaaay better than Thomas.

Thomas is all huff and puff but no go-go-go!

Percy had more power,

he was a smoother ride, and

he lasted longer.

I'd ride you Percy, any day, over Thomas.

I don't know why all the boys love Thomas the best!

Yes, that's right avid readers. I spent today at a kids birthday party at the Train Shed (at Luddenham, Western Sydney). Great if you've got any kids aged 6 and under. (Shit otherwise!)

What's next? 5: Choose yes

Now this one means different things..... I'll start with a Ronald Reagan quote. "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the next day." I used to think that was pretty funny. I actually interpret it two ways. "Don't just delay doing the unimportant things, don't waste your time doing them at all." Good advice. or. "If you let something slip a little, you might be able to get out of doing the work altogether!" Not so good advice.

So if I choose yes, I'm making the requisite choice. It may mean that I'll do it now. It may mean that I delegate, or I discard. Either way it's dealt with. The certainty is the yes, the action is appropriate.

The other thing is about the little voice that whispers in your ear.... You'd better do this M. You know you should. You can ignore me but it's not really a good idea. I choose yes. Do what you know is right. Maybe the little fucker on your shoulder will shut up.

Something new is happening. You are cautious. You might normally spend some time thinking about it. Eventually you'll go with your head, the conservative route. Next time..... if I choose yes you'll go with your heart, your gut, your instinct, your first thought.

So yes..... I choose yes.

Fixed HTML

Sorry to anyone reading on less that 1024x768 resolution. Hopefully I've fixed the width issues with my layout now so you don't have to scroll.....

oh, and see my blog value is up above two grand now. See the bottom of the page.

Time to sell.... any bids? :-)

What's Next? 4: Trust your intuition

I ought to start this post by making one thing absolutely clear.

I am fucking brilliant.

I have to waste so much time proving it. Memo to everyone: Save yourself the agony of being proven wrong and just accept that everything I say, do, think, believe, ask, instruct, and state is absolute, no question, solid, 24-carat, gold.

And what's more, (you mean there's more? yes, there's more!) is that I'm right very quickly. I make perfect decisions with a just a skerrick of information in half the time it takes to blink.

OK, got it? .... "Do you understand this? Do you understand this?" ......

So the statement

"trust your intuition"

probably should read

"take the time to explain to others in simple language that a 6th grader can understand why the fuck they are wrong and how could they be so stupid as to not listen to you in the first place"


But seriously. Especially in my work, I've sooooo often been persuaded by more senior (much much more senior) colleagues to take a course of action that was out of step with my intuition.

Case in point: After indicating to my friendly HR friends that no, I did not want to roll over the Enterprise Agreement covering my workforce for another 3 years because there was ambiguities in it that could cause problems down the line, I had the freaking Vice-President call me to insist upon it. Optionality zero. And then only a matter of weeks after it should have expired we were in the IRC arguing over the very ambiguity that I would have removed! Gah!

QED mutha!

What's next? 3: Eat vegetables every day

Well, this one's obvious. Thanks to lisa but for the reminder about what's important. I wont be attempting five colours however!

So since there's not much else to say, I thought I'd post about a quirky vegetable trait I have. What's the weirdest thing you can do with a carrot?




Give up?



No, it's not that!



I eat them while drinking beer. That's right, beer.
Not sure how it started, but often when I pull the top off a coldie, I get the urge also to crunch on a carrot too. Try it! You'll probably not like it very much. Maybe I'm pregnant....

What's next? 2: Get strong again

I'm not someone who has ever (ever) had a weight problem. One of the "lucky" ones eh.
I've been basically the same weight since I was 17. That's literally half a lifetime ago.

Many many years ago, I joined a gym. That's when I was living in the shire. The Sutherland rec centre became my favourite place in the world. At pretty much any time of the day or night, you could get a class, in whatever you wanted. I'd swim, I'd pump class, I'd free weight, I'd circuit. I loved the circuit classes. The more I did, the fitter I got and the more I loved it.

I recall driving home after one class. I'd picked up breakfast from the bakery on the way. (Yes breakfast. I'd done a 6am circuit on a Sunday morning). I got out of the car and I just felt great. I felt that my body was singing, I felt so alive. This was the fittest I'd been in my life and I felt 10 feet tall.

Unfortunately, I hurt my back doing some squats, gave it up for a while to rest. Then I moved away from the Shire. So sad....

Anyway, years later I joined another gym. It was hard to compare to Sutherland, but it was ok. I decided that this time, I wanted to get strong. I'd been fit before, but I guess I always considered myself as still a bit lean. So strength training was the plan this time. I got a training plan and worked out. It was hard! But I persisted. And persisted. An hour and a half to two hours a day, four to five days a week. "Leg day" was hell. For the first month or so, I hated it. But then once again, like in the circuits-of-Sutherland, I started to love it. I actually felt a bit lost if I missed a normal training day. I began to eat more, and eat more often. I was getting stronger, bigger, sharper.

This went on for about 18 months. In all that time, I'd almost doubled my bench strength, and similar amounts in arms, shoulders and back areas. Not so much improvement in legs, but hey, I could still do 300kg incline leg press. Must have been from all those years in high school playing basketball. But I digress.... When I started working out I was only able to do ten push-ups. By the end, I was doing a hundred.

But get this.... my weight was only 4-5kg more than when I'd started. And no, my body fat had not decreased, it was 12% when I'd started and it was still at 12%. All this extra strength meant a bit of extra size and not much extra weight. I felt like I was on a plateau. I did not want to go the extra mile and I eased off and eventually gave it away.

Since then, I've gone through phases and have even bought myself a home gym and all the bits that go along with it. I've run the city-to-surf and bought a bike. I've always thought that I'd be able to pick up from where I'd left off pretty quickly - if I wanted to. In the past year, I've lost weight without trying. About 3 kg. Without wanting to in fact. I'm now lighter than I was when I was 17. I don't like that too much, especially since I don't feel too fit. I mean, I can jump on my bike and ride 40km on a Sunday morning (like last weekend), but I just don't feel fit like I want to. And definitely I don't feel so strong anymore. And I miss feeling good about me in that way. So it's time.

The plan is this. Twice a week for the next month, so some really light weight sessions, to get the kinks out. Just 20-30 minutes a time. And ride once a week, just 10km or so. Then, the month after, ramp up the weights to full hour and about 80%. Then if everything is still moving freely, start a full weights and cardio program again - push myself for two months to get the groove back. I figure that by then, I'll be craving it again. And it will be good.

What's next? 1: Do something selfless every day

What is selfless anyway? And why do I want to do something selfless everyday?

First some background.

Definition : Altruistic, considering others before yourself.

Is being selfless actually possible? It depends who you ask actually.
Some say that everything we do is for ourselves. An egoist would say that the warm fuzzy feeling we get from doing something for someone else is the reason we do it.
Do I agree? I'm not sure. I understand this point of view. I accept that the human mind is so complex that this explanation may be plausible. And also that lack of evidence for something is not proof that it does not exist. It's about balance of probability.

I thought that the most constructive way to test the idea would be to consider an example of selflessness itself, and analyse the reasons and motivations behind it. So here goes...

Made up Scenario: Two brothers are walking down the street, each with $20 in their pocket. They are on their way to buy flowers for their respective girlfriends. Along the way, they are met by a man collecting money for a local charity. Both brothers feel empathetic to his cause and stop to talk to the man. Brother 1 decides that the charity is worth giving up his $20 and he hands over the cash. Brother 2 does not. He decides to hold onto his cash so he can buy the flowers for his girlfriend. He knows that his girlfriend will love the flowers and would like to do something nice for her.

Who is more selfless?

Brother 1 feels that giving money to charity is more important and his girlfriend will understand. There will be another $20 next week for flowers.

Brother 2 feels that the charity might get lots of others donating, but only he would buy flowers for his girlfriend.

I say neither is the more selfless! They each spend their money on what they think is the right thing. What they feel is the right thing is actually serving their own values and their own rationale. In other words, if you can choose between two selfless acts, then I agree that it is very possible that there can be no truly selfless acts. What distinguishes someone who is seen as being traditionally selfless, and one who is not seen as selfless, may simply be in the framework of their decision making process.


I choose to be altruistic it non-traditional ways. Like spending time with the kids. Or even more non-traditional than that : by purposely spending time alone to relax, recharge, and reflect in the hope that I might be a better father. You with me?

Perhaps I've just got bigger balls than most. I'm comfortable about my choice if I say no when the Red Cross come knocking (example only!)

Yet still, there is something still that makes me question if my strategy is effective.

Is it actually working for me?

So a hypothesis is ripe for the testing. Do something, everyday, that could be traditionally described as selfless. See how that works, to go out of my way. Bring on the warm fuzzies.

Excuse me. I'm off to hug a tree.

So, what's next?

It become a bit of a catch phrase for me.... "What's next?"

Tick one thing off the to-do list. What's next?
Learn a new skill. What's next?
Achieve a goal. What's next?
Complete a project. What's next?
Spend two years in a job. What's next?

I've heard one of my employees use the phrase now. What's next?

Now that's influence that's good. Action orientation. Look for improvement. Don't rest on your laurels. Keep moving forward. Stay ahead of the pack.

Be the best you can be.
Do now what you'll regret not doing later.

So that said.... what's next for M?

1. Do something selfless every day
2. Get strong again
3. Eat vegetables every day
4. Trust your intuition
5. Choose yes

I'll eloborate of each of these... in the next week. How's that? I've got a plan for my next 5 posts. I'm not usually that prepared.... Stay tuned dudes and dudettes.

........"Hey dude don't call me dude"

My blood in your eyes

It's not that I blame myself for how you are. I am not at fault. But there is a tacit explanation on offer. You are you because I am me. There really is a spectrum.

Your traits are watered down in me. I can see me in your eyes. I know where you are.

Can you see where I am? Will you come to visit me?
Please. do.
Come. and. stay.

Do you know what trust is? I think you do. Then hear this.
You can learn. You can adapt. You can change.
It's supposed to click.

Well freaking click already!

I lay with you on the hard floor.
We see the same things.
But can miss the obvious.
We know intuitively what others must deduce.
But have to read the rest thrice.
We recall detail where others don't even notice.
But we forget the rest.
(Any time of the day is a good time for pie)

I love the hustle and bustle of a busy city street. But I am a voyeur from my balcony. I am here but I am not engaged. Is this you too? Perhaps I am on the second floor and you are in the penthouse?

I know you like my hugs. I like yours.

My time

I like watches. I don't collect them, nor have I spent loads of money on one. My current watch was a gift to myself last year, $500 worth of Nixon. But I do covet many others.

In a previous post, I described a time in my teens about how I'd been disappointed with my Grandmother, for not buying me a watch for my 16th birthday. Obviously, though in hindsight after this post, my interest in watches probably comes from this event. For those not interested in going back to the other post, the story goes that when my sister was 16, my Grandmother bought her a watch. At the time, she said it was a tradition in her family to give a watch as a gift on the 16th birthday. I remembered this and was looking forward to this coming up to my birthday. It never came. My father, no doubt feeling that he had to make up for it, bought me a watch - thanks - but it was a bit lame.

So in a seemingly random coincidence, tonight I was thinking about memory, and how the workings of memory is more about reconstruction than recall. I think it's a great topic to blog about but that's for another time. Then I thought about; what are my worst memories (another post for another time), and one thing that came to mind was the time I was told about my Grandfathers passing. One thing I distinctly recall (or reconstruct!) about this time was that I had bought my girlfriend (K, now my wife) a watch for her birthday and I had to pick it up from the jeweller. Since I had to run off to see my family then I'd miss her birthday and wouldn't be fair on her. So I dropped what I was doing, left work, went straight to the jeweller to get the watch, and went to see K to give her the watch for her birthday. And then I burst into tears.

So isn't that some weird shit?

By the way, it's K's birthday today. Maybe it's not a coincidence that I was thinking about memory after all. Happy Birthday my sweet.

Shanks!

Here's the best ad since Sam Kekovich.
Laugh? Out loud!

Mesmerised

It's not often that I find myself saying that I was mesmerised. But isn't it great when it happens? That's exactly what happened to me when I saw The Audreys on the ABC last Monday night (The Audreys - Live At The Gov). And even greater, they're showing it again on ABC2 on Sunday, 11am. Consider this a Molly post - do yourself a favour.

Now I'm not into country, folk, pop, roots, or anything like what The Audreys may be classified as. They say that their music is eclectic. Others say it's a mix of pop, country and folk. I think it's simply unique.

Some might describe the pace of their music as slow. I'd say it's languid, smooth, satisfying. Like a double shot of Drambuie on lots of crushed ice. Meant to be savoured.

But to be honest, it wasn't the music that drew me in.

It wasn't the lyrics, and it wasn't the atmosphere at the venue.

It was the voice. Taasha Coates.

She sways, she smiles, she sings like an angel. Mesmerising. Captivating. Magic.

There are no maps to the place I'm going

I choose me.
What is more selfish? Denial in order to pacify, or denial of the truth?
And who do you deny, really? Forget rhetoric.
Tension lies, belies, inside, it cries out.
It's torture.

I want to go where the winds calls my name.
Home, a place I've never been.
It's taunts are seldom heard beyond my walls.
My shepherd protects me and my fall.
Though I shall not know the wolf by name.

I believe but I do not trust.
I desire but I do not make plans.
I am brave but I do not tread.
I am strong but I have no heart.
I am but I am not.

I really am sick of these comfortable stinky boots.
The soles are strong, yet my toes have pushed through.
Left
Left
Left Right
Left
About face!
As you were.....

Todays News

So, what's made news this week, and what do I think......

Equine Influenza
I couldn't give a rats about horse racing. It's a blight on our society. It's dull and pointless. Australia's 5th largest industry is one that exists because people gamble over how fast a horse can run. Get a life people.

Hewitt crashes out of US Open
So what's new. He's a hack and should retire.

Joey Johns took drugs
Um... yeah. Hands up who didn't know? Hands up who really cares?

David Koch named father of the year
Are you fucking kidding me? That dickhead? Gimme a break!

Wall st rallies on comments from Bush and Bernanke
Bernanke I can believe. Bush, yeah right. Are you meaning to tell me that after all the shit that this man has done and lied about, that the market are going to react to his reassurances about the economy? Laugh? I almost did!

Bush renews support for Howard
I'm again less likely to vote Liberal. Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge! I'm tryin' not to lose my head!

Nathan Deakes wins gold in 50km walk
Great. That's two now. I think all we had to do in these championships was to stop falling over. Didn't it seem that way at the start of the week? Or in case of the walk, all you have to do is not run and get DQ. Not up there with horse racing, but nearly as pointless.

Tigers still in with a finals chance
..... if the Broncos lose by 102 points

Anniversaries
Ten years since Diana and one year since Steve Irwin and Brocky.
:-(

Baggy pants
Atlanta are considering introducing a ban on clothes that exposes underwear in public. I don't know what to say really. Bizarre.