Random things about me

I don't think it would be a good idea for me to broadcast who I am - and I've generally kept many things about who I am off this blog, in case someone who knows me stumbles (or Googles) across this site.

But I want to share some things about me, so that people who are interested, can get to know me a little better. So, what if I can share some things that most (or nearly all) people who know me actually don't know. Sounds like an interesting post? Here goes......

• I've never stolen anything from a store.
• I was a Tigers supporter before the '88 and '89 grand finals.
• I used to smoke a lot of weed. I owned a bong with interchangeable parts. It was red and made of steel.
• I missed a question worth 15% in my 4U Math trial HSC exam by mistake. My Maths teacher nicknamed me "Coroneos" because I always did things the hard way.
• When I was a young boy, my Grandmother gave me the exact same toy jeep two years in a row. She gave my sister a watch for her sixteenth birthday and told her it was tradition to to this. I never got one. My father game me one to make up for it. I never really forgave her for that.
• When I was 17, I used to go out with all my 18 year old friends. I was always the only one not to get asked for ID.
• A friend of mine died of a heart attack when he was only 30.
• I once cried when my car broke down.
• I've never been caught speeding.
• I once "invented" a drink called The B&B. It was equal parts Baileys and Banana Liqueur.
• I credit a lot of the mark for my honours thesis to a lecturer who taught me about passive sentences.
• I often don't finish what I sta

Flattery might get you everywhere

I set my yearly job goals with my boss today. It was pretty low key, and all high level stuff. None of the "deliver x by y with z" or "raise a by b% in c months". It was more like "achieve the business plan". Very tidy and neat. No bs. And then we discussed the year so far, how things were going in the new job. I let him know that I had decided in this job that I would try managing "his way" to see if his style worked for me, and that so far, it's going fine. He let slip a very small "chuffed" smile and went on his way.

Am I a suck or what?!

Anyhow, back to watch the athletics..... Loving watching the uber-fit euro babes! Only speak Ukranian? No problem! я тебе кохаю!

Desire

Where I work, there is a very active and structured career development process in place. That is at least, for people who do what I do. Without giving too much away, I am an operations manager in a top-50 ASX company. We have the "normal" yearly performance review, and the "typical" incentive scheme. We also partake in a yearly development discussion with our boss's boss. Now this is a pretty interesting thing. In many ways. Firstly, it happens before the performance review. Well before in fact, like 6 months before. I guess you could say it could be 6 months after. Anyhow, these "chats" are very useful. At least I think so. I can honestly say that this process has resulted in changes to my career path. The last one I had was literally 6 months ago, so why bother with the post now?

I got thinking about it because of the changes in my work in the past few months. It's been going pretty well. I've enjoyed the challenges that have come my way and I certainly have changed the way I approach some things.

The way the "chat" works is that you fill out a form where you can say what types of things you'd like to be working on, where you see your career heading, what help you might need, etc. All good. Now that I reflect on the last "chat", there's something that sticks with me more than anything else. On the form last time, I wrote, "I have a desire to..... (insert ambitiousness diatribe here) ....". On reading this and then beginning our discussion, my boss's boss said "I never hear people in Australia talk about desire. It's refreshing to hear".

Really?

Now I chose this word pretty carefully. I wanted to ensure I projected ambition without pretension. I wanted to show that I was capable yet willing to learn. Does anyone else find this strange?

Now that was only a career based desire. I guess it's a pretty strong word. What else do I desire?

What do you desire?

Three

It took a while, but I finally tweaked the HTML to get the layout into 3 columns. I kept making mistakes with bloody syntax and didn't put the div's in the right order. But now it works :-)

Good pizza tonight. Mmmmmm.

What's really going on?

I read a lot of blogs. Well, a few. Those that seem to hold my interest and I participate in are those written by people who appear to be in a similar life stage to myself. Not in terms of their projected, apparent, tangible life stage. Rather the internal, real, felt life stage. And that is one of transition. I flit around the issue. I comment on those that others share with us. It's real and it's happening, but is the answer out there?

There's a tension somewhere.

It's kind of been happening for a while. I feel myself changing. On the inside.
I feel more. I care more. I accept more.

And yet I am possibly more dissatisfied with some things, while being very satisfied with where I am. Isn't this the hallmark of transition? When there is satisfaction with where you are, the need for more begins? I get the sense that it's bigger than that, less simple.

I'm sure I'm not going to be able to put my finger on it by rambling my thoughts across the page like this. And even reading more, reflecting more, thinking more, talking more; won't do it justice either. But the place to start is simply to start, and start at the beginning. But I'm not at the beginning, and here's how I know why. I just read this. This is exactly me right now.

Individuation is a process that leads to a more mature, balanced, 'rounded' person. In Myers Briggs terms, this may mean developing the aspects of personality that are opposite to one's preferences. For example, an INTJ, who has pursued an interest in a scientific career, may start to develop interest in ESFP-type activities. This might involve:

• enjoying relationships for their own sake, rather than in joint pursuit of some scientific objective
• taking up sporting pursuits simply to enjoy them, without feeling the need to develop ever greater skill and competence
• spending more time with the family and enjoying life with the children or grandchildren.
• developing a much greater appreciation for people, despite their lack of competence or intellectual ability.

And I mean this is exactly exactly me. I'm characteristically INTJ. I am enjoying relationships more for their own sake (like family, colleagues, even all of you readers!), taking up sporting pursuits simply to enjoy them (cycling), spending more time with family, and developing an appreciation for people despite their lack of intellectual ability. (That last one particularly!)

Where will it end? What does it mean for my career? Who knows. Does it matter though?

For now, I think I'll just run with it. Go with the flow. See where it takes me. Let go and enjoy the ride. I'll ride the rapids but keep my hand on the rudder.

Blankety Blank

Here's what I'm thinking.






















That's it. Nothing. I'm empty. No full brain today. Brain is drained.
Goodnight.

Letter to self (or would you care to dance Grandmother?)

M, how's things?

So, have you worked it out yet. Me neither. What will it take? I wonder. If it ever will. You've known of it's existence for some time. The view is cloudy. The sound muffled. Numb fingers, to touch it. Retreat is the normal option, I understand. And it's OK. We all pleasure in being victims to it's taunts. Not many have the courage. Plenty to lose and risk even in the gain, sour rye grasses. Press the shiny red button Ren!

I know what you're thinking. Can't I have my cake and eat it too? You know the answer to that question already, and it's not yes or no. It's a description of grey. Design your reality, live as though it exists now. Start with one disappointment at a time. But don't be too hard on yourself.

Discard all that is artificial. Embrace quality. Welcome life's varied textures. Persue past positives. Seek the truth, ne'er stop. Reject falsehoods. Trust your instincts, always. Live it, love it, laugh with it. Be it. And don't feel that you have to explain who you are, especially to yourself.

Welcome to my world tonight

Sittin' back. Hmmm. Plug these babies into the Zen and pull me up sumthin' Arie.... I’m having a private party. Ain’t no body here but me, my angels, and my guitar..... There's hope. It doesn't cost a thing to smile, you don't have to pay to laugh, you better thank God for that......

It's all good. This is my world, tonight. You're very welcome to join me. Pull up a cushion, cozy.

p.s. I am not my hair.

Shark Park

I took my daughter to her first game of football last night. Sharks v Tigers at Shark Park.
She was very excited. We arrived just before half-time of the premier league game.

When does the real game start Dad?
5:30.
What time is it now Dad?
4:30.
That means we have to wait for one hour!
Yes.
Can I have some jelly-beans Dad?
Sure.

5 minutes later....

What time is it now Dad?
4:35.
I'm getting very sick of waiting!
Yes. Just watch the football dear.

Finally the game ends.

Is it about to start Dad?
Yes, in about 15 minutes.
Will they put up pictures of all the players like on tv?
Maybe. Look, there are some little kids coming out to play first.
Where are the Sharks Dad?
Still inside getting ready. Do you want some more jelly-beans?

A bit later...

Look K, there are the cheerleaders. They're called the mermaids.
Yes, I KNOOW Dad! I'm still waiting Dad, when are they going to start?
Not soon enough dear.

Hooray! Kick off!

Sharks try... :-( K is cheering.
Dad. The sharks are winning and your team is not! We have 6 points and you have no points! (Insert a little in-the-seat dance here, and a big grin)
Yes dear. It's early yet.

A bit later...

Dad. My team is 18 and your team is 4. That's 14 points Dad. Your team needs 14 more points Dad. Maybe they need to do some more exercise Dad.
Yes dear.

Second half.

Tigers try.
K's smile is a little flatter
Tigers try.
K's smile is gone. She is worried. Panicing almost.
Tigers try.
Uh-oh. Almost tears here.
Tigers try.
I was just kidding Dad. I was ACTUALLY going for the tigers! And I was just kidding when I said to Mum that I was going for the sharks. Big grin.
Sharks try.
Uh-oh. Grin flatter again.
Sharks try.
Uh-oh. Scores are level.
Don't worry K. The scores are the same. We both have 28.
YOU BLOODY BEAUTY ROBBIE FARAH! 29-28.
(Insert image of M standing, punching the air, yelling at top of lungs, Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! while all around are seated, quiet as little little tiny mice, thinking sit down you bloody bloody bloody tigers fan)

Great night.

Did you have fun tonight at the football K?
Yep!

Go with the flow baby

Following on from my previous two posts, I had a great conversation with a colleague today about happiness and flow experience. This colleague has recently graduated from university with a psychology degree, so it was refreshing to discuss matters like this with someone who actually knows and understands what I'm talking about. It was also refreshing to realise that I wasn't talking bullshit, and we could properly converse in the topics which are of interest to me. Despite acknowledging that I'm untrained in the field, I still like to be able to think that I can pick up on concepts quickly.

Anyhow, when we were discussing flow experience, I got to thinking about how this applies to me and wanted to examine this in more detail. As is usually the case, I refer to wikipedia as a first step. Here, flow is described as a mental state of operation where the person is fully engaged in what they are doing. The components of flow are as follows;

1. Clear goals (expectations and rules are discernible and goals are attainable and align appropriately with one's skill set and abilities).
2. Concentrating and focusing, a high degree of concentration on a limited field of attention (a person engaged in the activity will have the opportunity to focus and to delve deeply into it).
3. A loss of the feeling of self-consciousness, the merging of action and awareness.
4. Distorted sense of time - one's subjective experience of time is altered.
5. Direct and immediate feedback (successes and failures in the course of the activity are apparent, so that behavior can be adjusted as needed).
6. Balance between ability level and challenge (the activity is neither too easy nor too difficult).
7. A sense of personal control over the situation or activity.
8. The activity is intrinsically rewarding, so there is an effortlessness of action.
9. When in the flow state, people become absorbed in their activity, and focus of awareness is narrowed down to the activity itself, action awareness merging (Csikszentmihalyi, 1975. p.72).

Reading through the list, I am reminded how often when I'm having a busy work day - time absolutely flies. Not tooooo often, but certainly one really strong occurrence every fortnight or so. So is this when I'm happiest? Yes!

So does this mean, for the purposes of application, if I were to design work systems for my teams should I be aiming to enable employees to experience flow? How might I do that exactly. I am in the process of re-organising the nature of work in my teams right now. Perhaps I should take these flow components into account when considering people for specific roles. To do that however I would need to know what every one's signature strengths are. The nature of my workplace dictates that I cannot simply get everyone to take the test. Perhaps some, but not many. I'll have to take a punt and guess the rest.

What do you think? Any flow-meisters out there care to comment?

I think I'd better do some more reading. Time is of the essence. Csikszentmihalyi - Bring it!

The questionnaire

On my last post.... find the questionnaire here

In fact, there are heaps of questionnaires, the one I got that question from was from VIA signature strengths.

I found this site after reading an article in Saturday's Sydney Morning Herald - Good Weekend section. An article in there called Happiness 101. It's about positive psychology.

Anyway, apparently there are 24 measureable character strengths and the VIA signature strength inventory tells you what your top five are. So mine are....

1. Creativity, ingenuity, and originality
2. Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness
3. Perspective (wisdom)
4. Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness
5. Forgiveness and mercy

Sounds about right. But so what? They say that we should be actively working or playing in new areas that draw on our signature strengths, to create a sense of wellbeing. This will play a role in building confidence and thus bring happiness.

There were other bits in the article too. I was pleased to read about it actually, since I posted happiness hypothesis a little while ago and referred to Seligman (and Maslow) and how their theories I thought related to happiness. I felt somewhat that this article supported my views about what makes us happy - and the fact I had not heard specifically about positive psychology before gives me some sense of satisfaction.

Anyway, if you're interested, it's free to register and do the tests.

Later.

How do you answer this?

I read this in an on-line questionnaire.

"I am proud that I am an ordinary person"

- Very Much Like Me
- Like Me
- Neutral
- Unlike Me
- Very Much Unlike Me

I didn't know how to answer.....
How would you?

It presupposes that you think that you are an ordinary person. Perhaps that means that I think that this is "Very Much Unlike Me". Now I think that makes me a snob.

Creative Zen Vision:M 30GB

A new toy.... For some reason, it was $90 less than the black one. Only $291. I wanted white anyhow. I'll need to get some decent headphones next week. Any suggestions???

I'm listening to Smashing Pumpkins as I type this. It's growing on me. Not as good as Adore, but pretty good still. Some songs (like Bring The Light) just don't seem to go anywhere. But many others are more like what I'd expect from them. I'm liking Doomsday Clock, Tarantula and United States (almost 10 minutes long but!). But Neverlost is the best track - it sounds very Adore-like.

Rollercoaster baby!

You know how people describe their moods or their life in general as going along, up and down like a roller coaster? Well, the thing is that when you're on a roller coaster, you KNOW that you're going to go up and down. You look ahead, see the drop and then you drop. You see the twist and then you twist. You see the loop and then you do the fucking loop. Life ain't like that people! You often don't see it coming!

What the! Where did that come from?!

The next time I ride an actual roller coaster, I'm soooo going to close my eyes. See if it's any better if you don't know what's coming.

Speaking of rollercoasters, I loved this one at Cedar Point.....

I was there in 2005. Two hours in the line for one ride. And yes, then another three hours in the line again to get a ride in the front seat. Nothing quiiite like this in Australia. I bought a coffee mug as a momento.

$$$$$

money money money money money money money money money money
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money money money money money money money money money money

I love tax time

What's your flava?

I've posted before (on my old blog) about my favourite things. This is not one of those posts again. But while chomping down on a couple of steaks tonight, thinking about how I love steak, I also was thinking about what a good day I've had. Just work stuff, got some good feedback from the boss's boss. And then I got to thinking that all the kids were well behaved and that's good. And Mrs M and I are getting along great at the moment. So, what to post about? You've heard all this diatribe before. But have you answered this question before....

What's your favourite?

"My favourite what?"

That's just it. What's your favourite anything!?
I mean is it chocolate icecream, or the number 9, or blue, or winter mornings, or roses, or being surprised, or knock-knock-who's-there, or finishing your last exam, or winning a race, or your first kiss, or surfing, or Harry-Potter, or George Gregan's tackle on Jeff Wilson, or the winner-is-Sydney, or long Sunday drives, or Gone with the Wind, or your Mum, or what?

I don't even know myself, but I'll have a think about it and let you know.

I'd love to know what your favourite is. Please tell! Pleeeease!

The sometimes jungle

It's lonely at the top
they stare like smug children
gangs of thugs, banded
the wet paper mafia

I can't explain
if you can't understand
idiot, beat me down?
we all, all laugh behind your back

Degrees of insincerity
empathy feigned, believed
even. Trust is fickle
take what you can get

We want the same thing
just don't grand-master me
I'll chunk it up higher, winner!
It's lonely at the top

My spirit got lost

My spirit got lost now something is missing
All the people round here are too bony for kissing

I'm sick of dour faces
Staring at me from the TV
Tower, I want roses in my
garden bower; dig?

I hear her voice
In the mornin hour she calls me
The radio reminds me of my home far away
And drivin down the road I get a feelin
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

Birth, School, Work, Death
Birth, School, Work, Death

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door

My spirit got lost now something is missing
All the people round here are too bony for kissing

General chit chat

No particular topic for today. Just some general chit chat. I've been away for a few days, thus the lack of posts. A few days away for work, plus some time visiting family as well. My brother and I went out for a night on the tins. I haven't had so much to drink in one night for about ten years! But when Stella Artois in on tap for $3.50 a schooner, how can you resist? Plus spending eight hours in the pub, watching the footy and listening to the DJ playing gems like 500 miles and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, you've kinda got to expect there'll be a few too many go down. But I feel pretty good today, no hangover, just a little tired.

It's good to get away for a few days. But I missed pizza night with the kids and "daddy didn't come home last night". But I'll get some good hugs when I get home tomorrow. Apparently, my 3 year old is expecting me to bring home some batterys for her torch - since they are flat. "Daddy will bring some from the aeroport. I want to go to the aeroport". I'm not sure where she gets these ideas.

I don't mind travelling for work. I certainly don't seek it out, I just do it when I have to. Fortunately this time it's in Brisbane where some friends and family are. I certainly like coming home again. You might be surprised but I expect that the kids will all look a little different, and will be saying and doing things all a little different. It will only be 4 days, but there will be subtle changes. Last time I was away from the kids for a week, my eldest son looked about 6 months older. It was weird.

The funniest thing happened in the pub last night. Wanting a "break" from the Stella, I thought I'd have a lemon squash to cleanse the thirst. So I go to the bar.
Me: One schooner of Stella and a lemon squash thanks
Barman: A what?
Me: Lemon squash
Barman goes to pour the beer. Comes back.
Barman: What was the second thing?
Me: A lemon squash
Barman: What's a lemon squash?
Me: (Thinking) What the fuck is a lemon squash?!
Barman: It is water with lemon juice?
Me: No. No. It's.... lemon squash! Lemon squash. Lift? Aaagh fuck, just gimme a Sprite!